Ronald the headless burgerman

Ronald the Headless Burger Spokesman

Ronald was a funnyman for a large burger company
With a perpetual smile, and big floppy clown feet,
The kids, well, they all loved him, all the little girls and boys
Would use all their parent’s money to buy Happy Meal toys.

The mystery of the sauce (the one on the burgers)
Helped him launch a global empire, eight billion served,
For years his company brang the US to its knees
He sold to earn his living and to help produce the obese.

Ronald the burger spokesman,
Ronald the burger spokesman,

His comrades sold beside him - Hamburgler and the rest,
But of all the burger spokesmen Ronald was the best.
So the Burger King decided he wanted Ronald dead
That son-of-a-bitch Hamburgler blew off Ronald\'s head.

Ronald the headless burger spokesman (Time, time, time
For another ad campaign)
McD’s trademark clown (But time stands still for Ronald
\'Til Hamburgler feels some pain)
They can still see his headless body stalking through the night,
But try as he might, the kids don’t love him now.
They’re a bit freaked out by ghostly, headless clowns.

Ronald searched the restaurant for the man who\'d done him in,
He found him in the playroom in a ballpit filled with kids
Ronald threw a McNugget without saying a word,
And it landed in Burgler’s throat, and he choked on that piece of bird.

Ronald the headless burger spokesman,
Ronald the headless burger spokesman,
Ronald the headless burger spokesman,
Talkin\' about the clown,
Roland the headless burger spokesman,

The eternal burger spokesman, still wandering through the night,
Now it\'s ten years later but his empire still has might,
In Ireland, in Lebanon, in Italy and Germany,
Here or there, anywhere you look there always will be
McD.

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Original lyrics

Warren Zevon - Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner

Roland was a warrior from the Land of the Midnight Sun
With a Thompson gun for hire, fighting to be done
The deal was made in Denmark on a dark and stormy day
So he set out for Biafra to join the bloody fray

Through sixty-six and seven they fought the Congo war
With their fingers on their triggers, knee-deep in gore
For days and nights they battled the Bantu to their knees
They killed to earn their living and to help out the Congolese

Roland the Thompson gunner,
Roland the Thompson gunner,

His comrades fought beside him - Van Owen and the rest
But of all the Thompson gunners Roland was the best
So the CIA decided they wanted Roland dead
That son-of-a-bitch Van Owen blew off Roland\'s head

Roland the headless Thompson gunner (Time, time, time
For another peaceful war
Norway\'s bravest son (But time stands still for Roland
\'Til he evens up the score)
They can still see his headless body stalking through the night
In the muzzle flash of Roland\'s Thompson gun
In the muzzle flash of Roland\'s Thompson gun

Roland searched the continent for the man who\'d done him in
He found him in Mombassa in a barroom drinking gin
Roland aimed his Thompson gun - he didn\'t say a word
But he blew Van Owen\'s body from there to Johannesburg

Roland the headless Thompson gunner,
Roland the headless Thompson gunner,
Roland the headless Thompson gunner,
Talkin\' about the man
Roland the headless Thompson gunner,

The eternal Thompson gunner, still wandering through the night
Now it\'s ten years later but he still keeps up the fight
In Ireland, in Lebanon, in Palestine and Berkeley
Patty Hearst heard the burst of Roland\'s Thompson gun
And bought it.